


A Witch And An Incubus Walk Into The Woods...

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Succubi & Incubi, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Witchcraft, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Character's Name Spelled as Yuri, Confident Katsuki Yuuri, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Eros Katsuki Yuuri, Gothic, Idiots in Love, Incubus Katsuki Yuuri, Katsuki Yuuri is So Done, Long-Haired Victor Nikiforov, M/M, Magic, Mentioned Phichit Chulanont, Minami Kenjirou Has a Crush on Katsuki Yuuri, Minor Phichit Chulanont/Katsuki Yuuri, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pining Katsuki Yuuri, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Succubi & Incubi, Victor Nikiforov Has No Chill, Witch Victor Nikiforov, Witchcraft, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: "I'm not the witch, he lives on the hill, and yes you can pet my dog,"Or: Hot gothic incubus Yuri lives in the woods and is getting particularly tired of people mistaking him for the local witch, a preppy pretty boy who lives on the hill above him and charges people for magic like Ursula the fucking sea witchYuri's hungry, Viktor's lonely, and neither of them like pineapple on pizza
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 7
Kudos: 159





	A Witch And An Incubus Walk Into The Woods...

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this INCREDIBLE post- https://asagi-s-garden.tumblr.com/post/641538226433245184
> 
> I wanted to do it as a promo for the "Paws!!! On Ice" zine- https://yoidogsandcatszine.tumblr.com/ but I don't think the dogs make enough of an appearance xD

Yuri knew what his visitors wanted before the nock on the door even came

He knew what they wanted from the moment his nose picked up on the scent of young humans making their way towards his cabin, from the moment his ears took notice of the way the leaves crunched beneath their feet and their hushed voices that they thought he couldn't hear

He knew what they wanted from the moment they entered the woods, because they all wanted the same thing

And that thing was never him

He looked up from his chalk pentacle, the air around him filled with the scent of fresh herbs and burning wax, and he removed himself from his evening ritual, long black dress sweeping across the hardwood floor as he made his way to the door and beckoned it open with a twitch of his finger

As predicted, the young couple- proof once more that they weren't actually looking for _him_ \- jumped at the sight of him

At his slicked back hair and pointed ears and the moonstone ring on his finger

He looked like everything they wanted, but he wasn't what they were after

"Let me guess, you're looking for the witch?"

Timidly, the young couple nodded, and Yuri shifted away from the doorframe to point upwards, to the top of the hill, where a lovely and lavish house sat neatly, looking as ordinary and commonplace as any wealthy home could look in a small town

"He's up there, sorry, but I'm not a witch, just your local pagan who lives in the woods,"

And eats people via their sexual energy, but he wasn't about to go into details

Without having had a decent meal in weeks, he just didn't have the energy

So the young couple thanked him and headed on their way, leaving Yuri alone once more

_"Berf!"_

"You're right Vicchan," he smiled sweetly, bending down to pick up the poodle as he shut the door and headed back to the pentacle he had been praying at before

"I'm not _really_ alone,"

Even though he felt like he was...

~+~

Yuri closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath as the lavender scent surrounding him calmed his nerves, his mind starting to drift as he sank down into the water

Yuri always looked forward to taking baths on the full moon, when the energy of the Goddess was at it's highest point and he could derive the most power from the water

But tonight especially, he needed the power boost

He hadn't had a proper meal in so long, he was starting to feel drained, and even taking the scraps he could manage from dreams was becoming a challenge

He needed Phichit to get back from Thailand- _now_ , before he fell into a hunger slump, wich could be dangerous for not only him, but any unsuspecting human who nocked on his door looking for the pretty witch on the hill

Hm, now _there_ would be an excellent source of power, a _witch_....

And _Goddess_ , Yuri heard that magic-folk tasted like _candy_

He'd developed a taste for the more savory flavors over the years, he'd never had much of a sweet tooth, but he'd have to be completely crazy to ever pass up an opportunity like _that_

_No one_ tasted that sweet unless they were blessed with magic in their veins, and the thought of tasting that pretty witch made Yuri's hunger stir, but he knew it would never happen

Even if it weren't for the fact that witches were notoriously wary of incubi- and all of their ilk- Yuri, specifically, had no chance in hell

The witch was beautifull and charming and Yuri wasn't even _near_ the same league as the beautifull stranger, not to mention that no one ever wanted to settle down with an incubus....

Just as he was starting to feel the power of the Goddess washing over him, the sound of a nock at the door forced his eyes to open, irritability strong as he reluctantly rose from his bath and quickly dried off, grabbing his black silk robe and wrapping it around himself as he hurried downstairs to the front door, Vicchan barking the entire way

When he opened it, he was face-to-face with a young woman, who seemed to be slightly gawking at him

...Hm

"A-Are you the witch?" she asked slowly

"Sorry, no, he lives up on that hill," he explained, leaning back against the door to gesture towards it, his mini robe riding up against his thigh, possibly on purpose, as he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for a reaction

He wouldn't push for one, but if she was interested, then now was his opportunity to get some real food...

"O-Oh um, thank you," she said awkwardly, staring at him for another moment before finally speaking again

"Um... sorry if this sounds kind of weird but..."

"Oh it won't sound weird, I promise," he said quickly, anticipation beginning to build, especially when the girl smiled timidly at him and took a step closer

"Oh, good, then... I can pet your dog?"

All at once, Yuri felt like his balloon had just been popped, and he glanced down at a happy looking Vicchan, who seemed none the wiser to his pain

"Ah... sure... go ahead, he won't bite,"

The girl was _thrilled_ , bending down and spending several minutes petting and playing with the pup before thanking Yuri again and carrying on about her merry way

Shutting the door behind him, Yuri glanced down at Vicchan, who still looked blissfully unaware

"I can't believe you have more game than I do..."

Actually, yes

Yes he _could_

~+~

Phichit had been Yuri's freind for years now, and he was the only stable food source Yuri had found so far- wich meant that more times than not, he was Yuri's _only_ food source

But Phichit told him over and over again that he didn't mind, where was the harm? Yuri was apparently fun in bed- being an incubus will apparently gift you with _some_ small benefits- and being a werewolf meant that Phichit's life force was incredibly strong and constantly replenishing, he didn't have the same fragility that humans had, so Yuri could go wild and feed for three days without harming Phichit at all

The arrangement worked out great.... except for when Phichit had to leave to take care of family stuff

That was when it became much more difficult to manage, and this happened to be one of those times

Luckily, for just such occasions, he had potions from a witch freind that allowed Phichit to simply invite Yuri into his dreams at will, and he had just enough to get him through the night too, wich would hopefully be all he needed to manage until Phichit got home

He prayed that would be soon....

But until then he just needed to close his eyes, start drifting off to sleep and-....

_And_ someone was banging on the door

His eyes flew open, now thoroughly irritated and not having the nutrition he needed to stave off his annoyance

He reluctantly got out of bed, making his way downstairs in nothing but a long t-shirt, the coolest way to sleep on a warm summer night

Especially when he had a dream date to get to

Exhaustedly, he threw the door open, not even having access to the limited magic incubi and their kin carried with them, and leaning against the door

To the surprise of _no one_ , a shy looking twenty-something with glasses and freckles jumped, startled, and started stuttering for words

Luckily Yuri was out of patience so he decided to help the poor guy out

"I'm not the witch, he lives on the hill, and yes you can pet my dog,"

The awkward teenager just grinned at Yuri and bent down to pet Vicchan- Yuri seemed to have a sense for who was interested in his dog... most of the time anyway- before thanking the incubus and running off

Exhausted, Yuri shut the door behind him and sighed, picking Vicchan up and giving him a snuggle as he headed upstairs

He should probably be happy just to have a companion at all, but he couldn't help being lonely and craving _more_

Sure, Vicchan was an amazing familiar- something "demons" didn't usually have but who Yuri had been given as a gift by a witch freind- but he didn't make up for having a partner

He often wondered about the witch on the hill, often dreamed about what it would be like just to _meet_ the guy

Would they get along well? Would they enjoy eachother's company? Would they maybe even fall in love?

He knew it was stupid and pointless to think about, after all, even if by some strange reasoning the witch _could_ find Yuri pleasant to be around- outside of the basic sexual desire his species exuded- no one ever fell in love with and incubus, that was just the way it was

~+~

"So, you want liquid luck, is that what you're saying?"

The jock in front of him gave a quick nod of his head, leaning across the table

"Yeah, I'll do anything to win that next game, _anything_ , but those Bulls man, they're unstoppable,"

"Hardly," Viktor hummed, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped neatly over his floral patterned skirt

"I can help you.... for a price,"

"Anything, just name it,"

Ah _"anything"_ , how Viktor _loved_ to hear that thrown-around, misused, foolishly offered word

He pushed himself away from the table, making his way over to his cabinet of potions and charms and picking up a small bottle of golden liquid, taking it back to the table

"Here it is, my own blend of 'liquid luck', with this luck will be on your side, any game, you'll win, any crush will ask you out, any college application will be accepted, and so on and so forth, but do be carefull, if you use too much it could cause you a... _great_ amount of pain,"

The jock swallowed, apparently gearing himself up, before giving a nod of agreement

"Right, got it, how much'll it cost me?"

"Oh not much, just your confidence,"

"My... confidence?"

"Yes, it's a trade, your confidence for sheer dumb luck, so what will it be?"

Viktor would _like_ to say he was surprised that the quarterback took the deal, but he really wasn't

If given the opportunity, people always took the easy way out

That was fine though, he would learn a lesson in humility from this

Sighing softly, he stared at his now bottled confidence, then set it on the shelf, turning to smile down at the dog who was waiting patiently at his feet

"I know, it's past your dinner time isn't it?"

Makkachin gave a _"Borf!"_ of agreement, doing a happy little dance around Viktor's feet and pulling a laugh from the witch

"Alright, alright,"

With a snap of his fingers, the cabinet door opened, and he reached up to get the supplies he needed to start dinner

He wished that he could share dinner with someone other than his dog for once

Not that Makkachin wasn't great company ofcourse- he adored her, he had made her immortal for a reason after all, but it just... wasn't quite the same as having an actual _person_ to talk to

Sure, he had tried once or twice to enable Makkachin to talk, but he still hadn't perfected that spell, apparently it was more complicated than it seemed

And to his credit, even if Makkachin _could_ talk, that still wouldn't be the same as having a _partner_...

But for some reason he still hadn't found anyone who interested him, anyone who really made him feel excited just to be around them

He thought breifly to the incubus who lived at the bottom of the hill, because _he_ had caught Viktor's interest....

But he just wasn't an option

The gorgeous incubus probably had twelve lovers per night, he could never be satisfied with _just_ Viktor, so there was no use trying

Even though he wished that he could....

~+~

"You want your ex to take you back? Sure, I can do that,"

Viktor paused, smirking as he straightened out the gold robe he was wearing, having been interrupted on his way to the shower by his newest visitor

"All it will cost is your.... _virility_ ,"

The man in front of Viktor went pale, just as the witch predicted he would

"M-My..... virility?"

"Sure," Viktor hummed, smiling "pleasantly" at his customer

"Let me make this clearer- I can help you _get_ the girl, but you're going to have to _keep_ the girl on your own,"

The stranger swallowed, looking more than a little timid at the idea

"Well? What will it be?"

Finally, he smiled at Viktor- albeit awkwardly and with, perhaps, too much confidence

"Alright, fine, if you can get her to give me a second chance, I won't have any problem keeping her with me this time! I don't need virility to satisfy a woman!"

_That's what you think..._ Viktor thought to himself, though he wasn't going to say that out loud

In truth, although Vitkor was technically giving the customer a sort of temporary crush potion, he had no interest in helping the guy, he had _every_ interest in helping the man's hapless victim not have to be subjected to his endless chasing

Not to mention that it would teach the guy a little something about respecting women when he had nothing he could use against them

Some might call Viktor a sadist, given that he quite enjoyed screwing with people's lives, but he liked to think of himself more like an antihero, teaching lessons to those who needed it, but in a way that was entertaining for him

Was that so wrong?

Once the stranger was gone, Viktor made his way back to the bathroom, starting the shower and shivering as he waited for it to warm up

It was unusually cold for being summer...

Rubbing his arms beneath the silk robe, he stepped over to the window, peering down at the woods below, at the warm orange light that seeped out of the cabin at the bottom of the hill

The sound of Makkachin's paws against the tile drew his attention away temporarily, and he forced a smile down at her as he reached down to scratch behind her ears

Don't get him wrong, he loved having Makkachin as a companion, but he just.... wished for more...

~+~

"You want something that will help your mother get past her illness?"

The young girl nodded, fidgeting anxiously before suddenly pulling her purse closer

"I can pay! Whatever you need, I-"

"No," Viktor said quickly, shaking his head as he rose up from his chair, his pastel pink polo shirt stretching with him as he reached onto the very top shelf where he kept his most valuable potions, grabbing one of the rare all-purpose healers he had

All-purpose healers were not only incredibly difficult to make, but they also required very rare ingredients, wich was why they couldn't just be given out like candy, but...

Viktor had always been the type to make whatever sacrifices necessary to be able to give them to whoever needed them, to whoever he _could_

Viktor liked to screw with people a little bit, and he liked to lightly punish those who tried to use magic for the wrong reasons- knowing that if he didn't, someone else who was far less gentle in their approach _would_ \- but those who sincerely needed his magic...

He would never turn them away, or charge them for his services

"Here, put this in her tea, the full vial, you'll start to see improvement within a few days,"

The girl nodded slowly, taking the potion greatfully

"Thank you... how much-?"

"I told you, you're not going to pay anything, just... go on, really,"

She nodded slowly, rising up and wrapping her arms around Viktor in a tight but gentle hug

"Thank you..."

Viktor, who was... not quite used to receiving affection of any sort, only hugged her back, if a bit awkwardly

"Ofcourse, it's... it's really no problem,"

With that, she thanked him one more time and headed out, leaving Vitkor with a feeling he only rarely seemed to attain these days- happiness

In fact, he felt so good that he decided to go for a ride, and considering he needed more mushrooms to make another all-purpose healer, he might as well use the opportunity

"Makka, wanna go for a ride?"'

_"Borf!!"_

"I thought so,"

With a grin, Viktor grabbed his broomstick, hurrying out onto the porch and mounting it, waiting to feel the familiar weight of Makkachin jumping on the back before taking a deep breath and levitating the broom

It rose up into the air slowly at first, but once it was finally at the altitude he desired, it took off through the sky

He took another deep breath, the crisp evening air a delight to his senses, the familiar sound of Makkachin panting beside him creating a wonderfully relaxing atmosphere

Everything, for once, felt truly _good_....

And then he took note of the fire burning down below, just outside of the cabin, and the beautifull incubus who inhabited the woods dancing before it... _naked_... covered in..... were those _fertility_ symbols?

That was _just_ enough to make Viktor lose concentration and fly into a tree

He cursed, face red as he fumbled around and tried to pry himself out of the branches, the sound of a dog- a much smaller dog than Makkachin- barking below only causing him to feel even more embarrassed by his less than perfect flying as he climbed back onto his broomstick, Makkachin, who had managed to avoid ending up in the tree- thankfully- by huddling to the back of the broom, eagerly crawled into his lap and jumped up, licking his face in an attempt to soothe him

"M-Makka... Makka that's nice but hold on... I-I can't balance-..! Makka-!"

Surely enough, the carefully placed balancing act Viktor always had to manage in order to fly was completely broken, and he tumbled off of the broom, clutching Makkachin protectively as he plummeted towards the ground, not having enough time to use magic to cushion the blow so having no choice but to brace himself for impact

But... the impact didn't come

He slowly opened his eyes, looking down at the beautifull incubus below, gorgeous brown eyes open wide, a tense look of anxiety on his face and his hands raised above his head

He was... levitating Viktor....

Carefully, the incubus lowered him to the ground, and quickly grabbed a large purple cloth to wrap around his waist and cover up the moment Viktor's feet touched the ground

But Viktor felt.... Viktor felt like _stars_ were suddenly bursting all around him, the awe and amazement of his rescue raining over him like bursts of jubilation

He had never felt like this before, and the intrigue he had felt for the incubus already had sky-rocketed now

"Hi," he managed quietly, a bright smile on his face

"H-Hi..." the incubus replied, face red, as he finished securing the cloth, wich hung on him now like a low-riding skirt, or a towel...

_Shit_...

"I'm Viktor," he introduced quickly, taking a step closer and setting Makkachin down as he held his hand out

"Thank you for saving me,"

"I'm Yuri," the incubus said after a beat, taking Viktor's hand

"And it's really no problem,"

He paused, pulling his hand back, much to Viktor's disappointment, and stepping back towards the fire, where a little Toy Poodle- who greatly resembled Makkachin in her younger days- was patiently waiting, eagerly licking Yuri's cheek the moment he was picked up

"Oh wow, you have a poodle too huh? Aren't they great?"

"Yeah, Vicchan is my best freind, I don't know what I'd do without him," Yuri smiled shyly

"That's how I feel about my Makkachin,"

He paused, snapping his fingers as his broom freed it's self from the tree and levitated back down to his side

"Especially given that I don't really have any other freinds,"

"You don't?"

Yuri seemed awfully surprised by that for some reason

"Afraid not,"

For a moment, the incubus was quiet, before giving a half-shrug sort of gesture

"I'm sorry to hear that, aside from Vicchan I only have Phichit, and he's not always in town..."

Phichit... Phichit... Phichit......

Oh!

"Oh, is that the cute werewolf who comes around all the time?"

"Y-Yeah, you um.. you've seen him huh?"

"Sure, you two are adorable together, but I haven't seen him around lately, is everything ok?"

"Oh, yeah, he just had to go back to Thailand for a few weeks, take care of family stuff,"

"Ah..."

Then did that mean that he and the werewolf were still together?

Although Yuri had called Phichit a _freind_ , maybe they didn't have a permanent relationship and were just freinds-with-benefits? That sounded like something that would probably benefit an incubus...

"Um, I should really... go back inside and uh.... wash this stuff off," Yuri said suddenly, clearing his throat and staring down breifly at the painted symbols decorating his skin

"I-It was nice meeting you though!"

Before Viktor had a chance to stop him, Yuri was already running back inside and settling against the door, sinking down to the floor below with Vicchan in his lap

"It figures," he said quietly, scratching lightly behind Vicchan's ears

"Ofcourse he would be interested in Phichit...."

~+~

Another night, another lonely dinner

Viktor heaved a sigh, opening his refrigerator to start looking for what to make, when the doorbell rang, causing Makkachin to start barking up a storm

"Another one...?"

Viktor always had something of a steady stream of clients, but the last few days had been almost non-stop, he wondered if it was something to do with the cosmic alignment....

Probably, but he certainly couldn't keep track of it all well enough to know right off hand

When he answered the door, he expected a small variety of people... but a pizza boy wasn't one of them

"Um.... I didn't order this,"

Although come to think of it, pizza sounded pretty good

"Is this 113 Willow's Edge?"

"11 _2_ , 113 is the house at the bottom of the hill,"

To ensure he gave the stranger propper directions, Viktor stepped out, gesturing to Yuri's adorable little cottage in the woods, the warm orange glow of the lights looking picturesque against the dark night sky

So comfortable....

"Yeaaaah.... we don't deliver there..."

Oh, that... was a bit of a surprise

Blinking, Viktor reached out, taking the pizza in one hand and snapping his fingers with the others, a $20 bill appearing as he set it in the delivery boy's pocket

"Keep the change~ C'mon Makka!"

With an excited bark, Makkachin hurried closer, and Viktor summoned his broom, the two of them mounting it comfortably before levitating back into the air, flying down to Yuri's cottage and slipping off of the broomstick, excitedly reaching the door and giving it a light tap

To his surprise, when Yuri answered, he was dressed in a long black gothic gown and lace corset

"Wow..." Viktor breathed

_You always manage to surprise me..._

"Is that an evening gown?"

"Is _that_ a gold waistcoat?"

Viktor glanced down at the golden fabric laying against his dress-shirt, shrugging in response

"Fair enough, they delivered your pizza to me by mistake,"

"O-Oh I'm sorry-"

"It's ok!" Viktor beamed cheerfully

"It doesn't have pineapple on it does it?"

"Um.. no...?" Yuri answered slowly

"And you aren't already sharing it with anyone, are you?"

"..Also no....?"

"Great! Then how about you share it with me?"

"Um... s-sure....?"

That was all the confirmation needed for Viktor and Makkachin to stroll in as though they owned the place, much to Yuri's confusion, as the other man peered outside in search for a delivery person

"Viktor, you didn't pay for that did you?" he asked, shutting the door

"I did,"

Yuri's mouth fell open, not having been prepared for such a direct answer

"W-Wait a second, let me pay you back-!"

"Nonsense, consider it my treat,"

Yuri stuttered, unsure of what to say to that, wich was apparently all the opening Viktor needed to make himself at home in the kitchen

"But... why...?"

Viktor paused at the table, turning around and offering a shy smile

"Because I.. really like you Yuri, I was honestly hoping that... maybe.... you could consider it a date? I mean I'd take you out properly but the pizza-"

"You want to go on a date with me?" Yuri echoed, completely shocked

"You... do mean a _date_ date, right? Not.. just a glorified hookup?"

Viktor looked puzzled- and then slightly _troubled_ \- before an expression of warmth fell over his face

"No, I mean a real date, as in... maybe leading to boyfreind status... leading to a real commitment... leading to husbands type of a date?"

"Husbands..." Yuri deadpanned

"...Sorry, that's too soon to even-.... I always get ahead of mysel-"

"You would really want to marry me?"

Viktor blinked, head tilting

"Um... yes? I mean I'd have to get to know you first ofcourse," he winked

"But doesn't it bother you that I'm an incubus? I'd feed on you _all the time_ , a-and... and if I can't get enough from you I'd-"

"Yuri," Viktor interrupted, stepping closer and taking Yuri's hand, gently kissing his fingers

"I know exactly what you are and exactly what that entails and _none_ of it bothers me,"

Yuri bit his lip, his stomach flipping and his face turning bright red, before slowly nodding

"Sooo... you're willing to give it a try?" Viktor asked excitedly, earning another nod in response

"Y-Yeah..... yeah, let's give it a try,"

~+~

"I heard this is where the witch lives,"

"Don't get too excited Minami, it sounds fake to me,"

Minami shook his head, unwilling to believe that what he had heard was wrong

He took a deep breath, stepping towards the cabin door and giving it a timid but hurried nock

Surely enough, much to his excitement, the door opened a second later, revealing a _GOD IN HUMAN FLESH_

"Y-You're.... _beautifull_...." Minami squeaked, watching in amazement as the brunette's cheeks turned a bit pink, his long dress swaying around him as he shifted to lean against the doorframe

"Thank you, I um, take it you're here for the witch?"

"Y-Yeah!!! I-I um... I'm looking for a spell..."

The brunette's lips ticked up as he moved side, gesturing them inside

"He's right over there,"

If there was one thing Minami hadn't been expecting, it was for the gothic beauty in the doorway to _not_ be the witch, but rather, the excitable seeming guy on the couch currently cuddling with poodles

"I'll leave you to it then," the brunette teased, making his way to the couch to breifly drop a kiss against the witch's cheek before disappearing around a corner

"So," the witch said with a grin, light blooming at his fingertips as he made his way to his feet, suddenly looking far more elegant than he had a moment ago

"I hear you're in need of magic,"

He took a step forward, the light blooming brighter and brighter the closer he came

"I can help, but first, how much are you willing to pay?"


End file.
